You’re Invited to Chris & Koni’s Ugliest Night of the Year! 🤢
​What: An Ugly Christmas Sweater Party – Open House Edition! (The tackier, the better. We’re talking 3D ornaments, blinking lights, and existential dread knit into the fabric.)
​When: Saturday, December 6th
​No Set Start Time! It’s an open house, so come and go as you please.
​The End: We party until the last lighted sweater runs out of batteries!
​​Why: Because holiday cheer is best served with questionable fashion choices and a healthy dose of holiday cynicism. Come show off that monstrosity your Aunt Edna accidentally knitted for you back in 1985.
​⚠️ Dress Code (Non-Negotiable):
​Your sweater should make a baby cry and a fashionista faint. If it doesn’t itch, light up, or have at least one felt reindeer on it, you’re not trying hard enough.
​🏆 The Stakes: ​A highly coveted (and probably slightly tarnished) prize will be awarded to the person wearing the most Objectively Hideous Holiday Garment. Bragging rights will last until next Christmas.
​🍽️ The Essentials: ​Holiday-themed snacks will be provided (likely covered in green and red sprinkles).
​BYOB! Please bring your own beverages and libations to help you tolerate your sweater.
RSVP: ​Kindly let Koni know if you plan on stopping by and get the address! Just a heads-up helps us with snacks.
​P.S. If you show up in a nice sweater, you will be handed a hot glue gun and a bag of glitter upon entry. You’ve been warned!!